Since it is Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about love. I am lucky to have met my husband when I was just 20 years old. I was not looking for love – I had just been broken up with by the first man I had ever said ‘I love you’ to. I didn’t throw around that phrase. It was not easy to say those words for the first time, and even worse when they were not reciprocated.
I do not regret that relationship or that decision. It is what ultimately opened me up to find love from my husband. You cannot accept love from someone else until you are truly ready.
Which made me wonder, what are the reasons that some of us find love and some of us still struggle for it? If I learned anything from the moment I met my husband, it is that you cannot be “looking” for love if you want to find it. When I walked into that dingy fraternity house basement, I was looking for some friendship and authenticity. When I scanned the room, I chose a green haired girl because she seemed creative, fun and authentic. She was the person I was going to meet and talk to that night. The fact that I never met the greed haired girl that night, is now a part of my love story with my husband. He was between me and the green haired girl and once I met him, I looked no further.
That night, I was myself. Authentically. I knew I was an art student in the basement of a brotherhood of accountants, business majors and engineers. I didn’t think I had anything in common with those boys so I sought out the person I physically related to – the green haired girl. What I found though, was that I did relate to one boy in particular.
What does that tell you? It tells me that what I thought I was and what I thought I wanted might not be accurate.
I believe there are at least 8 things you need to do in order to find love and they don’t require you to change who you are at all. They require you to BE who you really are:
I am no relationship expert, but I know what worked for us. Finding true love with someone else is attainable if you just stop looking for it and instead look inward. XOXO